Giving the finger to the tradition of the obligatory holiday card reciprocity By Shelly Cone Every year during the holidays I start to cringe when I check the mailbox. I know at some point I will open the mailbox and that first Christmas card of the season will be sitting there all gold and sparkly… Continue Reading
Shelly Cone humor writer
Category Archives: Family
Just go to sleep
What is so hard about going to bed at night? My kids fail to explain this to me. I mean, come my bedtime, I’m ready to go. In fact, please, someone, send me to bed early. Not a problem. My kids however, don’t abide by their bedtime even when they do. They get in bed,… Continue Reading
So how do I say this?
My son Jake tells me suspiciously, “mom I’ve got to ask you something. Well I mean I’ve already run this by dad, but, he said to ask you.” “OK, ask” I said. “well, when we were at the park, well OK here is a backstory, there was this …” “He wants to buy a bird,”… Continue Reading
Queen of the throne
There is something happening here. What it is isn’t exactly clear. Oh, wait yes it is, that’s a song from the 60s, I think. Anyway, let me start again. There is something happening here. It’s called potty training, and I’m getting a double dose of it. I guess you can say I’m up to my… Continue Reading
Oh, the voices in my head
I have a short attention span. I figured out why. Because I have to. I have two boys, my husband and a baby vying for my attention–at the same time. I love them all but I sometimes wonder how painful it was for VanGogh to cut off his ear. (OK that’s lame. It may not… Continue Reading
Love is a three ring circus
If you are married and you’ve ever complained about not getting enough loving, stop right there. I’ve just got new perspective on the whole marriage-love-sex thing and you know what? It’s not your fault. It’s not your husband’s fault. It’s the kids. Well duh, says anyone who doesn’t have kids and can see what we… Continue Reading
Party on Spongebob
What would you do if you had two nights alone with your spouse in a suite overlooking the beach, across from the boardwalk? Stay out all night, dine in an expensive restaurant, have monkey sex all night long. WRONG! You wouldn’t do any of that. Or maybe that’s just me and my husband. Maybe we’re… Continue Reading
Yay for new beginnings! I think
Last night, my nieces who have been living with us for five months went back to live with their mom. Which means a little more freedom in my house. Freedom to eat sushi and quinoa and goat cheese and other things that don’t require a slathering of ranch dressing. Freedom to do some housecleaning in my… Continue Reading
So what am I chopped liver?
Is cornbread nasty? Are brownies yucky? Have I just lost my mind completely? So some of you know we’ve been fostering our two nieces for the last five months. It’s been a strange experience. We didn’t know them too well, nor did we know their mom too well. So we expected this to be hard.… Continue Reading
Finding a little “pee” time
Moms, you poor overworked, under appreciated ragga muffins you. I am feeling for moms right now. Of course, it is because I know first hand what it is like. Afterall, I spend many a two-weeks-at-a-time being single mom to three rambunctious boys and two really weird girls when my husband is sent off on business.… Continue Reading
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